The Piano Players Daughter THE END

Dear Daddy

There is so much more I could tell them about you and the loves in my life.But in writing I found what I was looking for all along. You see Im becoming more than 'the piano players daughter'.
I have stepped away from your shadow.Moved away from behind your limelight.
So many are the gifts you left me here in my heart. Like a treasure waiting to be unlocked. I open them one by one.In my genuine heart of sadness I weep for you. In my music and my songs I lament for you.I play alongside you now like I always wanted to do.Because you left the music in me.

I love you

The piano players daughter 7

I now look for you in the men I love and I have found a match. A one who will control me like you did.When he finally creates his wealth he will use it against me. He will forget that I stood by him when it was not his.
He wraps me in jewels and fancy clothes. Made to measure personality to fit the person I am not. I will mould to his needs.He own my weekends with sun and boats and fancy cars. But by week he hides me from the men that make money with him.He is ashamed of me. No longer fitting into what he had made me.No longer fitting into his new rich life. I become dowtrodden and down. I can not move but be condemned for my thoughts my dress and my friends, which he disintegrates one by one.

I didnt see you return daddy,in him, until it was too late. I would pay for the hurt and betrayal to you. Just as then I paid for my own mothers betrayal. Without her near I became the the evil one.
I write you on paper in a thousand notes. Play you in a thousand rooms.

But the new, him,has taken my whole being and I have become the emptied shell of a nut kernel. Eaten and left.To late so that my being collapses under the hollow shell of my empty legs and body.I had to leave you. But this time for good.The next time will be different I say.
Did you ever love me?Did he ever love me?

The piano players daughter 6

You were gone but still you were here

I re-invented you in a chain of lovers.

So that I could have you by me

to tell me how to be.

Autonomy?



We met slowly he and I. It was a steady meeting as friends.But slowly like a sand timer we fell into step. At first I did not see you in him. Until it was too late and my person had been stolen and locked in a cupboard. It took time for you to appear. But appear you did. If I had never left him he may not have turned into you. I left to free myself. I put an ocean between us. But his tentacles could reach even to there. Flattered at his still wanting me I returned to him, to you.
Only then did you appear. Too late, I am lost behind guilt. A mistake that can not be undone. Slowly I dissapeared from sight and sound and me.